Grieving.

Please understand when we skip your baby shower.  Or when we don’t reply to snap chats of your beautiful, growing baby belly, or stack of baby books.  This doesn’t mean we aren’t happy for you, because we absolutely are.  We were just as excited and planning all of these same things.  However, our happy ending was ripped away from us, and sometimes your extreme happiness is going to be a reminder of our tragedy.  We know that you don’t mean to.  But unfortunately, until you’ve experienced a loss like this, you will never fully understand.

All of those baby clothes I bought for you? What I didn’t tell you is that I bought duplicates for my own baby.  Now I have a stack of clothes, some boy, some girl, some gender neutral, and no baby on the way to dress in them.  Maybe Rudy can fit into a 6-9 month onesie?

We planned to announce at 12 weeks, which fell exactly on Valentine’s Day.  A day of love. What could be more perfect? We started a baby registry with a few essentials, we picked out a top-of-the-line crib.  We talked about names and paint colors. All of which will now wait for us, for only God knows how long.

Baby Peterson, we will never get to hold you, and we will never know if you’re a boy or a girl. What we do know, is that you weren’t healthy.  Something wasn’t exactly, perfectly right, and you stopped developing at 6 weeks.  We only want the best for you, and sadly for us, the best wasn’t here on Earth with us.  Please know that we love you with all our hearts, and we always, always will.  Please put in a good word with the Big Man, and help him carefully select our rainbow baby, and send him/her when the timing is right.

Love,

Your Mom & Dad 

We ask that you please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we grieve our angel baby.