I know it's been a little while since I've posted. It has now been 1 month since we received our third round of devastating news and honestly, my life just isn't the same. This loss seemingly has hit me harder than the rest. Or maybe it just feels that way because the grief has now multiplied… Continue reading How We’re Doing/Test Results
Category: Pregnancy loss
Grieving Mom Goes to Target
Groundbreaking stuff, right? Well for me it kinda was. For the first time in over a week, I got a full night of sleep. I took a shower. I washed AND dried my hair. I put on the teensiest bit of makeup, so I didn't look scary. I wore contacts. Then I put on a… Continue reading Grieving Mom Goes to Target
Third Time’s a Charm
My Fitbit actually told me I was pregnant. I've been exercising a ton (because hello, that's what everyone does in January!) and I noticed that my average heart rate kept increasing (1-2 beats every day for almost two weeks) when it should have been decreasing. We chatted about it, we knew it was a possibility.… Continue reading Third Time’s a Charm
January 30
I woke up in a funk today Which I fully expected My mind was back in that stupid room A heartbeat not detected. No blood supply, no fetal growth Our worst fear had come true All hope lost; Our dreams were shattered "There was nothing you could do." One year ago, our lives… Continue reading January 30
Attitude of Gratitude
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Look, I'm not going to lie. This year, being thankful feels tough. Many days I wake up feeling like the world is against me, and since nothing has gone my way, that it never will. I felt like it was especially important for me to write this, because it forced me to… Continue reading Attitude of Gratitude
Halloween Heaviness
It’s not even 11:00 am, and I find myself needing to swear off social media for the day. During a quick scroll, I counted five pregnancy announcements. FIVE. Cute fall and Halloween themed photos, excitedly announcing “our little pumpkin” arriving in May. Now, don’t get me wrong. I am friends with these people, and I’m… Continue reading Halloween Heaviness
4 Changes I Am Making
Since our second loss, I have felt that it's time to make some changes for the benefit of my health and well-being. Going to Church/Becoming More Spiritual I grew up Catholic, and went to Catholic schools from kindergarten through twelfth grade, so faith was a regular part of my life -- whether I wanted it… Continue reading 4 Changes I Am Making
The Angel Statue & Test Results
Last Thursday, I met my mom at the Oak Hills Cemetery where the Angel statue is that I talked about in this post. The statue is so beautiful, and I know I will be visiting often. I am thinking about having a brick engraved and placed around the statue. It's relatively inexpensive, and I think… Continue reading The Angel Statue & Test Results
How we’re feeling/One week update
Today marks one week since we learned that we lost our second baby. ...the baby we we thought for sure was our rainbow baby. Tomorrow I'll be one week post-op. ...the second time in which our baby's remains were scraped from inside my uterus. How are we feeling? Emotionally - Justin and I are absolutely… Continue reading How we’re feeling/One week update
How I’m feeling – D&C Day… again.
October 2, 2018 As a woman who is typically great with words, I seem to be speechless right now. There are no words which accurately describe the whirlwind of the last 48 hours. To say that we feel heartbroken, helpless, and devastated, would be an understatement. I never imagined that this would actually happen again,… Continue reading How I’m feeling – D&C Day… again.
